I'm feeling angry and resentful today...Perhaps I had a little time to do some thinking..which people tend to try to avoid.
I'll let you guyz have a sneak peak at a difficult situation
in my life, which I thought i'd share....
Many of you can probably relate to this...
I dont wanna be tangled up in a louzy, non potential office position, for all eternity. I want to have choices....Wanna have options.....I want to be able to go to college if I please..... Have a satisfying career if I wish.....I dont want to spend the rest of my life dreaming my dream.....I want to live my dream......without having many many many many.....many difficulties....!
I was a deprived kid growing up in a very frum religious community. I was deprived from lots of stuff....stuff...which every healthy, normal, thriving girl needs and deserves having in her life. Now, one of the things I was never lucky enough to have is a normal education. My parents sent me to a very religious school...thats basicaly as frum and fanatic as a school can ever be, which had a very poor curriculum and education.
There mentality is that a women, as soon as she reaches child baring age should get pregnant, give birth, get pregnat again, and have as many kids as its humanly possible. Her job is to stay at home be a slave to her husband, the kids, the household and basically be a "housewife"...which is the fancy word they've named it
The way these people work...is...theyd avoid teaching many subjects (in school) which they consider too goyish/ secular for the controled, narrow minded minds. Theyd neglect giving exams which is required to be given in every legal school. Students are banned from entering the most evil place in the world, which is called "a public library". The diploma which is given upon graduation isnt worth more then a piece of scrap paper! (being that one didnt complete subjects and exams that are required by the board of education)
Anyway, I can go on and on and on...but i think all of you dear ppl get the picture.
There soul purpose to all that, is cutting off every possible route, and doing everything in their power to make it very hard or almost impossible for a young person to have success in the outside world and be able to live a normal life.
( I wont even get into how difficult it is to make ends meet and the poverty thats going on among chasidic men..for the well known and sad reasons such as: No education, which resulted in: illiteracy, very poor english language, poor communication skills, no job experience....and etc...
And theyre all pretty damn convinced that theyll spare one's soul from deffinite hell, by doing what theyre doing. And convinced that theyll be going strait to paradise (gan eden), by protecting us from the filthy (tumena) world. And for doing whatever the hell they call righteousness.
Now, im trying to understand this... a deffinite eternal paradise...? for turning a persons life into misery and a life long struggle?
What hypocracy and narrow mindedness...!
